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#RightSpeech

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(See parent post for context.)

Right Speech is so not highfaluting that people rediscover it over and again.

Dr. Xavier Amador rediscovered it when he proposed the LEAP method for listening to his schizophrenic patients.

LEAP means: Listen, Empathize, Agree, and Partner.

It is no mystery that the first step is to listen, without judgement.

Says Dr. Amador:

“You do not win on the strength of your argument, you win on the strength of your relationship.”

Not winning on the strength of your argument is a revolutionary stance to take.

amazon.com/Sick-Dont-Someone-A

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#RightSpeech#Buddhism#LEAP

On the topic of Right Speech...

What a bunch of goons we are, us, Zen Buddhists. Just about every time Right Speech was presented to me, it was made into this mysterious thing.

It is simple, oh so simple...

I'm helping a kid who self-hams this morning. I did not wake up thinking that's what I would do, but that's what life presented to me, and I take up this task. 😔 I'd say I take it up without problem, but I'm still autistic. 😂 Alas, I'm worried that my words will land badly.

At any rate, this morning, I am the embodiment of Right Speech. It is nothing extravagant, or mysterious. Right Speech starts with Right Listening. I think the elders missed a step when they did not include Right Listening as one of the steps on the eightfold path. There's Right Understanding, but this word evokes too much discursivity.

So we start by just listening, without flying off the handle, without anger. We let the person we're talking to reveal themselves to us, without imposing our prejudice on the situation.

We can then speak, but this is cooperative speaking rather than antagonistic speaking. We ask questions to prompt them to reveal more of themselves.

I know well what the common impulse in this situation would be. It would be to intervene immediately. To get angry. To yell "STOP." These approaches are not fruitful, and may only compound the problem.

I know from experience that these are not fruitful. I had an ex who self-harmed before she knew me. She did not stop because someone in authority yelled at her to stop. It is a mystery why she stopped.

At any rate, Right Speech is not mysterious. It is not a highfaluting state.